Sleepovers with Maggie

Maggie has had three nights with just me at home. we've done okay together. Maggie has been surprisingly good for me. she's been eating well when i feed her, sleeping a little longer than she was before laura's surgery, and only fussing a little for me as i try to take care of the night shift.

laura was worried to send maggie home with me. she doesn't trust me to play mom. all joking aside, i was worried about taking maggie home because i am a deep sleeper. our first night home, arriving after 3:00am, i was scared that i was going to have more problems than just waking up for maggie when she cries. i was sure that i was going to fall asleep in the middle of getting maggie ready for bed. during these three nights together i have drifted a couple of times while feeding her, but after a few tries at keeping the bottle in her mouth i usually wake up enough to finish the job.

Maggie starts out each night sleeping in her own space, but she ends up in my bed each night. she shares the bed well. i put her blankets over her, and then pull my sheet and blanket over top of that too. Maggie likes to keep arms out from under the blankets and free to wave around, so the extra covers on the rest of her are good to keep her warm.

Getting Better

yesterday was not laura's best. laura had a rough night as they tried to decrease her pain meds. with such a long incision, it was hard for her to breath deep enough and i don't think that she rested well all night. for most of the day yesterday laura felt nauseated, and achy. she said it was like she had a bad flu most of the day.

by lunch time they had approved laura to start eating more than juice and broth, but laura only had a little apple sauce and some jello. some of that apple sauce came back up.

laura did get out of bed three times yesterday and made at least one loop around the floor each time. in the late evening laura started to feel a lot better, even with the second review of apple sauce.

Maggie was on good behaviour by then too, so we got to stay until 12:30am, keeping laura company. at one point, all three of us had drifted off to sleep.

today appears to be a much different story. laura got up and did two loops on the floor, had her bandages changed (laura got to look at the her suture and the incision is LONG), and even sat in the chair for a while. laura ate some of her mostly liquid breakfast, she's not as achy, and she's started into her lunch for today. best of all laura was feeling well enough to hold maggie for a little while, once maggie and i came back to the hospital for the day.

One Long Day: back at the hospital

it's 3:25 AM and Maggie and i just got home from the hospital. this has been a very long day.

last night Maggie didn't let Laura get much sleep (only between 1:00 and 3:00am) and Laura was scheduled to be at the hospital by 5:30am.

once we checked in and were in the pre-op waiting room the nurse told Laura that she didn't know why the hospital didn't a call last night, because Laura's surgery had been bumped to the second time slot. Laura had been scheduled for the 7:30 surgery time, but now we had to wait for one surgery before us.

close to 8:45 (just past the three hour mark for us at the hospital) Laura was taken to the room where she'd get started with the anesthesiologist and i was sent down to the surgery waiting room where I'd have to guess on Laura's status for the next few hours.

i spent my time watching the hands move on the clock and waiting for the waiting-room nurse to give me updates on Laura's condition. this was interspersed with phone calls to Laura's parents and my mom. the first calls consisted of me telling them that Laura's surgery hadn't even started even though it was close to the time that we had expected that Laura would be out of her surgery.

i saw Laura's surgeon talking to the family of the previous operation just after 9:30am, but i was a little surprised when the nurse told me at close to 10:00am that Laura probably wouldn't begin until 10:20, because of the time it was taking to prep the OR.

two more hours of watching the clock hands and the nurse finally told me that Laura would be on her way out and going to the recovery room soon. now i was just waiting for the surgeon to come and talk to me to let me know how things went.

just after 12:15 i got to speak to Dr. Garry. Laura's surgery went well and they have no reason to suspect that the cyst was anything but benign. Dr. Garry ended up making a midline incision to open Laura up. the cyst was larger than a nalgene bottle and probably closer in size to a regular loaf of bread. the cyst wasn't really attached to anything, so they think that it had just formed as a bubble in the layers of membranes around the mesentaries. the top part of the cyst was close to Laura's pancreas so they had to be careful with that part of the excision, but they don't think that it was actually attached to the pancreas or anything else for that matter.

i was up in Laura's room before 1:00 and my mom and then Laura all arrived within the next half an hour. Maggie was good for me during the whole operation. being up all night may have been the reason she slept so much for me. Maggie was also very good for my mom. she fed well from her bottle and kept quiet or slept well in my mother's arms. my mom stayed until nearly 10:00pm, which gave me a little time to take care of Laura and i even went home for a nap of almost a two-hours.

this surgery is a lot harder on Laura than the c-section. not only did Laura have to go through her dreaded IV, but she's got the pressure cuffs on her legs again (to prevent blot clots, but unfortunately anchoring her to the bed and making her feel that much more helpless and claustrophobic.) the pain medication is taking more out of Laura, and the incision and surgery were much more invasive. Laura's even been hooked up to oxygen because of the way the pain medication makes her breathing so shallow. i don't know how long the incision is, but the dressing runs essentially the full length of Laura's abdomen, from sternum to waistline.

Laura has been tired, itchy and sore, and feels rather helpless when it comes to taking care of Maggie. after my mom left, Maggie was less pleasant. we walked the halls, and then walked the halls some more. Maggie wouldn't cry until we'd get back to the room. Maggie threw a couple of fits that were stressing us all out. i was tying to change diapers, take care of Laura a little and get Maggie to calm down and i wasn't doing well at any of them. Laura was completely spent. Maggie's crying and being tied down to the bed with a big sore spot where Maggie would usually lay is hard on Laura.

Maggie gave Laura a few moments to hold her, but finally i just had to pack Maggie up and take her home. mom and baby both needed some sleep and Laura wasn't going to get any with Maggie there.

It has a name

This week i learned a new word from the A Way With Words podcast: philtrum

Here's the definition that Martha Barnette, one of the co-hosts of the show gives at her website under her "Learn a New Word" tab.

philtrum
(FILL-trum)

The vertical groove between one's nose and upper lip.

The ancient Greeks' word for "love potion" was philtron, the source of English philter, which means the same thing.

Though no one's sure why, the Greeks also used philtron to denote the dent in one's upper lip. Some have suggested that it's because the shape of one's philtrum resembles the type of small vial used to carry such a potion. Another possibility is that it's the site on the body where such a potion was often applied.

Martha also noted an idea from Talmudic tradition with regards to this lip indentation. The tradition starts with the idea that all babies still have a perfect knowledge of God while still in the womb. (Other sources say that the unborn child has a perfect knowledge of all things in the world.) According to the Talmud (Niddah 30b) just before each child is born an angel is sent who touches the lip of each child to make the child forget. Thereby child will not be able to speak what it once knew. The indentation is there to remind us all that this life is meant for us to study and learn the things of God.

One more time

Today we went to the hospital so they could take some blood and review Laura's medical history before her surgery. i got to tend Maggie while Laur was getting poked. The bottle finally came off of Maggie's face and i held her up on my knee to give her a little air. The nurse looked over and said, "Look at that! Just like Daddy."

i was surprised how quick the nurse said the same thing i've been hearing from family and friends. To me, she just looks like Maggie, but i guess i'm going to have to accept that she looks like me. i hope Maggie is okay with it. Poor kid.

Too poor

Today we got our notification letter from the IRS with regards to the financial stimulus package that every tax-paying american is going to get. With me only working part time hours and Laura now working as a full-time mom we were looking forward to some extra money in the bank.

i opened the letter and read "$782". ¿$782? Last i heard it was $600 dollars for each adult in the household. ¿Why only $782 and why such an irregular ammount?

On the back of the letter i finally read that the possible amount was $1,200 >>OR<< our "2007 net tax liablity". We get back the money we were supposed to pay in taxes.

i did a lot of scattered work last year for more employers than i would have liked as i waited to get back into the school cycle (and employment). Basically, we're too poor to get the full $1,200. For some reson the Goverment doesn't want to refund more taxes that we paid last year. RUDE!

Maggie's Twin - !GINORMOUS!

well, we have the most definitive information so far.

one of the things i didn't talk about during Laura's first ultrasound was the extra surprise. after checking on Maggie, the ultrasound technician took a peek at Laura's innards to see if the ducts from the kidneys were kinked by the baby or if anything else was cramped. while you're in a doctor's office and someone is giving you an examination and they say, "oh", that's not the most comforting of situations. The "oh" was followed by an extended pause. then she typed "cyst" on the screen and pressed the button to take a picture of the display. this is how we were informed that Maggie had a playmate while she was growing inside of Laura.

right up to the ultrasound i had been teasing Laura that she was going to have twins. there they were. we definitely heard the jokes about how fun it was going to be that Maggie was going to have a little "cyster".

Laura had an MRI on the 3rd of December, just to make sure that the cyst wasn't a danger to mom or the baby. the MRI was suggested because the ultrasound tech couldn't tell if the cyst was coming from Laura's liver, her kidney or her pancreas. the proximity of the cyst to so many potential danger zones gave Laura an early trip to the hospital but nothing was found that made anyone nervous enough to do something before Maggie was born.

with Maggie born, Laura could have her CT scan without endangering Maggie. The CT scan was on Friday, April 18th, to see if the picture was cleared up with out a big swollen uterus getting in the way. still, no one said anything about what was up with the cyst. eventually Laura was told that she had an appointment with a surgeon on Tuesday, May 13.

Laura was getting her mind set for a surgery on the 13th, when we got a call they day before to let Laura know that she was going in for a consultation and not the surgery the next day. Laura's stress level bumped up a level or two because it was now apparent that the possibility of a "procedure" was being pushed aside by the likelihood of an "operation". Laura didn't sleep much that night. this fluid filled cyst was getting more complicated all the time.

Meeting with Dr. Thomas didn't do much to alleviate Laura's concerns. having one surgeon say that he wants to turn over the surgery to a liver specialist but he still hopes to be in on the surgery to see what is actually inside you is a little spooky. no one wants to be the interesting case that the other doctors want in on.

finally today, the 16th of May, we got to see the specialist. he did the regular consultation then the internet connection came through with the x-rays and we got to see the scans of Laura's guts.

This thing is Huge!

it was easy to see that there was an object inside of Laura taking up quite a lot of room.

the top of the cyst comes in behind Laura's liver and her intestines, even pushing the duodenum out of place a little. it does tuck around her gall bladder and the ducts from the liver but Laura is healthy (no jaundice or digestive disorders) and the doctor doesn't think that the cyst is malignant. the cyst at it's widest point seemed to push over to nearly the midline of Laura's torso, and it stretched down pressing Laura's kidneys to the back. it's crazy that Laura has something so big inside of her and that it was there for the pregnancy too. the cyst starts just under her rib cage and stretches down to the upper part of her pelvis. the cyst could come off of anything from top to bottom: off of her ovary, off the membranes around her guts, or off her liver or gall bladder etc.

i'm waiting to see how Laura feels once this thing is out. Laura has felt well, no jaundice or digestion problems. Laura had all of the blood tests during her pregnancy and even some extensive labs on her urine for a 24 hour period when she had some blood pressure issues.

between the multiple ultrasounds, the c-section and a CT scan it's all part of the grand tour through Laura's insides. Laura would be content if this tour is over soon. surgery will be next week sometime.

Good Words

there are some things i just can't pass up.

one of my favorite words to use is "the interweb". i try and be helpful and let people know when they can just find something on "the interweb".

just recently i've decided that i will add "genetical" to my vocabulary - e.g. just because i was born via c-section and my baby was born via c-section doesn't mean that it's genetical.

i love an awkward silence.

(even if it's only a stutter.)

Things not to tell your wife: the first in a series of helpful hints for the domestic lifestyle

First on the list for this week --

"Watch. If I press really hard on the baby's soft spot she'll sneeze."

(coming next week - "Things not to do to the baby")

Troubled child

Elementary school is a confusing place and an often terrible place to send children, and by terrible i mean something that instills terror. Kids at that age are burdened by the juxtaposition of the desire to reason things out for themselves and the lack of experience and judgement to not come to faulty conclusions. Then we put a bunch of them together all at once for eight hours, thank you very much.

From my own experience, i can remember walking up to a girl and basically saying, "you are chinese". She was probably of Asian decent, but she was quite adamant that she was in no way chinese. i was definitely confused. Why couldn't she tell that she was chinese? She looked just like "chinese". my friends had told me just what "chinese" looks like. For all i know, she could have been adopted, and as young as we were she probably had no idea about any other ancestry besides being from Utah.

The reason i've even been thinking about this is because of all the talk about my Maggie looking like me. i've heard it plenty of times already, and i hope that her looks won't be too heavy of a burden as she grows up. i look back at my pictures growing up and half the time i can only see my mouth weighed down by heavy cheeks and hanging open and my heavy eyelids giving me a perpetual drowsy look. i look like i've got downs syndrome. i'm telling you truth when i say that someone was serious when they told me that they wondered if i was a regular passenger on the short bus. (Then again, maybe that question was in their mind not based on my looks at all -- yeesh. It was my destiny to be an awkward child.)

Maggie does have some of her mother's traits. As i've said before, Maggie's dimpled chin comes from her mother. In addition to her chin it is obvious that Maggie's feet and her hands definitely belong to her mother. These exceptions are also a comfort because it's not just facial features that can supply a little childhood anxiety.

i remember being on the elementary school playground, sometime probably before third-grade, and having an older kid sitting in the swings give his assessment of who i was. i will admit that i could put on a pair of shorts and the bottom hem of those shorts seemed to easly reach down to eclipse the tops of my socks. i will also confess that i could put on grandpa's hat and the hat wouldn't fall down over my eyes, but i could not convice this kid on the swings that i was not lying when i said i was not a midget. Short little kid with a long body and a big head - to what other conclusion was that kid supposed to arrive?

good luck Maggie. i'm sorry.

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As long as were on the topic of poor logic, check out a couple of episodes of what might be my favorite radio program: This American Life.

Listen to the prologue (six minutes) on Kid Logic and the prologue and first Act (18 minutes) of A Little Bit of Knowledge. Each program is good as a whole, but not quite as light-hearted as the opening minutes.

Maggie is Home

Laura and little Maggie are doing well. Laura checked out of the hospital as early as she could and we were on our way home Friday afternoon.







here is a picture of Maggie sitting in her car seat wearing the outfit that Grandma Betts gave us for Maggie's trip home. Laura and i didn't realize how small Maggie is until we saw how oversize the newborn outfit is.





our first night with Maggie home went well. all three of us got some good, albeit interrupted, sleep. it's hard not to just let Maggie cuddle with you and fall asleep together.

Maggie's bilirubin levels were a little high when we left the hospital. today was a little cool outside, but the sun was out so we stripped Maggie down to her diaper and lay her in the sunlight on our bed. Maggie got a good hour of bright, warm sunlight shining on her little body.

we first put one of her socks over her face to shade her eyes, but in the end it seemed like her face was shaded enough to rest well in the sunlight.

watching her in the sun it was easy to see all of the little wispy hairs covering from her legs on up to where the wisps on her forehead fold into the hair on top of her head. the way she stretched and kicked in the sun was quite endearing.

look at the way she has spread those toes in the sun.

you can also see that Maggie was a breech baby with the way she holds her legs. she folds up into these little frog poses or this "little-Buddha" pose that we captured in the afternoon of her third day in the hospital.

Laura Stuttered

Once Maggie was born, i went with the nurse out of the Operating Room to get Maggie weighed, measured and cleaned up. Laur didn't come. I guess the doctors wanted to sew her up first.

Once Maggie was relatively clean and wrapped up, i got to take her back into the OR so Laura could see her. Laura's head and shoulders were secluded behind the make-shift wall of a big blue sheet for the whole birthing event. Maggie and Laura needed a chance to meet each other face-to-face.

i walk over to Laura holding Maggie in for her to see. Laura with her first look at Maggie says, "She looks like yo- Bum chin?!?"

Maggie's dimpled chin is hard to miss and i think it's the cutest. Laur was just a little suprised to see such a prominant version of that trait. i like the dimple because it's an easy way to know that Maggie's her mother's daughter.