Ladies and gentlemen, devoted fans of the "deb green irregular"(referring to everyone's favorite newsletter, not deb green herself.) We, the faithful members of Mama Deb's House of Pancakes and International Relief (M.D.H.O.P.A.I.R.), have finally come to the arrival of another exciting newsletter.
Hopefully you all took some time out for National Peanut Day last September. Things were pretty busy in Mama Deb's kitchen and National Peanut Day wasn't given it's due share of respect or celebration. Oh well. National Peanut Month is less than three months away and March gives us 31 days in which to celebrate all things peanut.
Speaking of peanuts, due to recently acquired knowledge, several items including peanuts have found their place on the menu at M.D.H.O.P.A.I.R. becoming rather precarious. Apparently peanuts are seeds, and seeds have this peculiar habit of coming from ovaries. With this startling news making itself known, anything ovarian in nature now faces the risk of being stricken from the menu altogether. The test menu is looking rather bleak.
At first the menu was only slightly smaller, but as further connections were made to seeds and ovaries, a continually increasing number of items on the menu have been walking the plank. The BLT has been forced to become bacon wrapped in a lettuce leaf, no mayo (mayo is made with eggs after all) nor bread (flour is made from wheat, which is a grain, which just happens to be a SEED). The listing for the vegetarian menu has been reduced to a mere section title immediately followed by the rapidly shrinking desert menu. The breakfast menu is a nearing a total loss.
We cannot offer you eggs no matter what way you like them cooked. With the recent loss of flour, all of the pancakes, waffles, crepes, etc. have also been relieved of their breakfast duty for the time being. Our most popular breakfast item, the Super-Duper Breakfast Trough, has been reduced from eggs, breakfast potatoes, pancakes, waffles, toast, orange juice, milk, peaches with cottage cheese, two strips of bacon, and two sausage links (with the ever present side of peanuts and the option to sponsor an orphan child) has been reduced to the bacon, sausage, potatoes, milk and cottage cheese. We have tried a multiple of combinations, but no matter how we arrange the bacon on or in the cottage cheese it just doesn't present itself as a visually appealing dish. Mama Deb has even threatened to strike the potatoes from the menu although we are working hard to convince her that a potato is just a root, and that there aren't any seeds in the roots.
On brighter side, the time we are saving by having fewer items to choose from on the menu has given us a chance to beef up the brochures on sponsoring orphans; more reading material as you peruse the menu for the components of a meal. With the menu turmoil raging here on the home turf, there are somethings to still look forward too. Mama Deb has chosen to take leave of the troubles here at home, in exchange for the troubles of Uganda for the Christmas holidays. She will be given a chance to get over her fear of ovaries (please no Freudian psychological analysis of that topic) in exchange for more rational fears, such as her fear of sharks(feel free to enlist Freud here all that you want). Uganda does have a large body of water after all, and you never know when the next shark population is going to make that brave move to cross the African continent and take the fresh water option of settling down for retirement in Lake Victoria. Maybe by January we will be returning to the original menu.
Mama Deb attributes the reason for this trip to Africa to her need for a change of pace, but we here at Mama Deb's House of Pancakes and International Relief have our own ideas. Rumour has it that she is going back for a few more drum lessons. We all remember Mama Deb's last trip to Africa, where she gave away all of her belongings and only came home with all the drums she could carry, and the few other scattered photos and souvenirs that she stuffed in those drums. At least this time around, deb will get to put her drum lessons to immediate use as she plays for change in various locations on the London leg of her "Away From the USA" tour.
Then again, maybe she is just looking for a change of pace. She has begun the habit of referring to herself as deBORah, and occasionally THE deBORah. At least she has outgrown the "goose" phase.
Well, that is it for this update. We of M.D.H.O.P.A.I.R. thank you for your interest and hope for your continued subscription to the M.D.H.O.P.A.I.R. newsletter.
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for more information on peanuts or the Ugandan Children's Fund, please contact deb green at
debgreen20@yahoo.com---------
And no for a final word, here are a few links for those of you who are interested. This American Life produces some of the best radio programs ever made, most of which are readily available online:
http://www.thisamericanlife.orgHere are a few links in connection with some of the topics covered in this edition of the M.D.H.O.P.A.I.R. newsletter. Hopefully you will have some time to check them out online. They are all free for your listening pleasure.
Babysitting - Deb is going back to the orphanage, and here are some very interesting stories on babysitting. If you don't have time for the whole program, you really should forward through to the last 25 minutes and hear the true story titled "Yes there IS baby".
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/ra/175.ramKid Logic - ¿What would an orphanage be without children? This is one of our favorite programs of all time.
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/ra/188.ramMusic Lessons - when deb is not with the kids at the orphanage, she'll be honing up on those drumming skills. Here's a little homage to music lessons and some of the reasons why people take them.
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/ra/104.ram
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