Family Perspectives

During my run yesterday I listened to Neil A. Maxwell's talk "Family Perspectives" from 1974.  

I thought Elder Maxwell's talk was interesting because he mentions a troubled economy, women's rights, the definition of the family, energy problems, and several other ideas that are the issues of today.  For example, he said, "Isn't it interesting that at a time when patriotism is called into question, that some fail to realize that one cannot really have a sense of country without a sense of kinship..." which was part of his larger plea to not forget that we are all God's Children.  

I appreciate the positive attitude of the leaders of the Church. Later Elder Maxwell said, "When he sees the imperfections all around him, the disciple of Jesus sees such imperfections as an invitation to help."  There is always room to move forward.

Here is the link to the full text and the audio file: Family Perspectives

This talk came from one of the various podcasts that include General Conference talks, BYU devotions, CES firesides, etc. Just search in iTunes for "LDS", etc.

Good day on the trail: Better for some than others

With the start of the semester, I didn't run much in September. I'm trying to get back on track in October. Yesterday, I was feeling pretty good about our run. Laura, the girls, and I did 4 miles together. Laura's pace was really good. If it weren't for the few stops that the girls make me do (to pick dandelions, to get a stick, to turn around to get items dropped from the stroller, etc.) Laura and I would have been on the same pace. Laura doubled back to do a portion of the run to let us catch up.

I love running with the stroller, but Chloe has the habit of taking off her shoes and socks once she's strapped in. We were finishing our 4 miles and I had only come up with two socks and one shoe. I missed where Chloe had dropped one of her shoes and I didn't find it on the way back home. Rather than accept the loss, Laura went up the trail again while I played at the park with the girls.

The good news is that Laura found the shoe, rolled off on the side of the trail in a little bit of brush. (They are probably our favorite pair for Chloe.) Even better news is that Laura clocked in another 2 miles (1 up and 1 back) to find the shoe. Just as I was feeling good about doing 4 miles for the day, Laura did 6 - and she pretty well bolted back once she found the shoe. Laura took 20 minutes to walk out to find the shoe, and only 10 minutes to get back to the park. Speedy. Good job Laur.

I think she's gonna be ready for her race at the end of the month.

Running again

Saturday (April 17th) may well have been the perfect day for a run. Everything was great.

This past winter Laura and I bought an almost new double-jogger stroller which we have used for a few walks, and I have run with Maggie a few times. The cold weather which started out this month was gone. Our girls woke up happy and they let us get them ready. I needed to do my run for the day and Laura wanted to get out of the house too. Everything was ready for us to get out on the road. I pushed the stroller and we were on our way.

We ran one of my regular routes. It's a loop that goes down to center street from our house, over to Seven Peaks and on up around Kiwanis Park before cutting through campus to come back home. The whole route is just over 3.4 miles.

We got out of the house at 10:00am and the weather was great. The day wasn't too hot, there was enough sun and good fresh air. For a long stretch of the run we were looking at the high contrast of a snow covered Timpanogos against a deep blue as we ran along streets lined with blossoming trees. Being out with the whole family was great, but the surroundings really added to the day.

The route starts out with about a half-mile of flat, followed by nearly two miles of varying incline, before the final mile heading downhill towards home. Laur had to work for it, but she pushed herself and did really well. She's been exercising at home for the winter, but the cold weather and tending her girls has limited her options for cardio. I've been ready to get us all out there for a while. This was Laura's second run for the spring and she felt pretty good at the end of it. She was a little sore on Sunday, but we don't think that she pushed it too hard.

Best of all, it was fun to get out with the whole family. Chloe wasn't as happy as she could have been by the end, but Maggie is a nut for the stroller. She loved every minute of it. After a long winter of running alone, it was fun to have us all there.

Official times

Here are the official times. I'm going to put them into that earlier post, but here they are for now:

	Finish time	Rank by Age	minutes per mile
Mom	45:06.6	1st of 1	14:32.9
Dad	38:59.14	3rd of 6	12:34.8
Dave	28:34.5	9th of 22	9:13.2

Rex Lee Run 2010

in 2009, i skipped the Rex Lee 5k for the first time since 2002. this year i was back on the track. i wouldn't say i'm a big fan of running or racing, but the Rex Lee Run is for a good cause (cancer research), it's close to home(right here on BYU's campus), and i can use it as an excuse to be more motivated with my weekly exercise.

today was my 8th time running the Rex Lee Run, my 9th 5k race and my 10th race ever. (somehow in 2003 i managed to do a sprint distance triathlon -- i just didn't know any better. i competed in the clydesdale category - i.e. fat guy category)

i started the race as usual - way too nervous and wondering how i was going to push myself through to the end. the crowd was typical - old, young, strollers, and at least one obviously pregnant lady. i saw the typical mix of former roommates, classmates past and present, neighbors new and old, and former students of mine. the course was slightly different, but followed the general path around the outside of campus. the race started a little late, and i walked around the outdoor track with my parents a couple of time before heading to the starting line out on the street just to keep warm. the rain didn't come until they were handing out the prizes to the winners.

i ran about as fast as i could, but didn't set any personal records. i wasn't sure if i could have pushed myself more while running, but after crossing the finish line, i felt spent. by my watch, i ran the race in 28'42". i'm content enough with that time. we'll see what the official time is next week. my best time was in 2005: 24'47". my slowest time is just over 30min, if we don't count the year that i ran with my nieces who were in the 12-and-under category (40min).

Items of note for today's race:
- my parents joined me for the race. Mom even ran in honour of one of her co-workers who's fighting breast cancer.
- Dad finished around 39 minutes (official time to come)
- Mom finished around 45 minutes (official time to come)
- Dad won THIRD PLACE in his age group: 65+
- Mom won FIRST PLACE in her age group: 65+. Now she has run the race 3 times and has a gold, a silver, and a bronze medal.
- Mom was the ONLY woman in her age bracket to run the race. The gold still counts! don't forget that she got out and did the race.
- The first place winner in my dad's age class was 80 years old.
- that same 80-year-old beat me, even though i did average a 9min mile. (¿how did i get beat by an 80-year-old?)

now i just have to cross the next hurdle. usually at this point in the year, school/work get busy and i take a slight break from my exercise regimen. by slight, i generally mean anywhere from one month to six, seven, eight, etc. months of sporadic exercise. most years it takes a long time to recover mentally from the 5k because i don't have an immediate goal and i'm not sure what to do next. i find excuses to not train as regularly. i'm hoping that i can keep going with my training, and keep my fitness levels up. maybe the idea of the 80-year-old beating me will keep me motivated to not have a break.

it was good to run the race again. it was good to run with my parents. i was a little sad the the weather was too cold for Laura and the girls to come and at least be a part of the crowd. overall, it was worth the time and effort, and i enjoyed at least some of the running and ALL of the finishing.

Bad Dad

My wife does not think it's funny when i say that our newborn looks like Yoda when she purses her lips.

Oh well... Chloda

oG B0E

End of the Holidays

Well, we're coming to the end of a good extended holiday. We've been in Canada for over two weeks. This was only our second trip to Canada for 2009, so we were excited to get our girls up here to show off to the family. It's been a good time.

Chloe is still a mama's girl, but she has learned that she can be content in the arms of lots of other people besides mama's.

Chloe has also been quite curious. She has enjoyed watching her cousins and they have captured her attention for extended periods of time. Chloe has rewarded their attention with plenty of smiles.

Chloe has become much more vocal on this trip. Not a lot of jabbering, but she has found a strong volume for her shouting and hollering. Her noise-making doesn't seem to be directed at anyone, she just has to make a ruckus now and then.

I will feel sad for Maggie when we go home. She is going to lose a lot being back home. Maggie has had so many cousins to play with. She has been put on center stage so often here. Besides all of the regular play time with cousins closer to her age, Maggie has had plenty of time to show off all of her signs. There have been a few times where nearly everyone in the room, adult and child, have watched Maggie show off her knowledge. It is especially fun to have Maggie show off with the alphabet or her signs for feelings. "SCARED!" She is such a smarty-pants, and loves to interact, smile and laugh. She is has been so good to play and explore, even if some of that exploration has given Laura and I a lot to pick up after.

Besides exploring and having people to play with, Maggie may have other hardships when we get home. Maggie and I have been slumber party buddies for these past 16+ days. We've even laid down together for a couple of naps. She's a little rough at times. I've had both headbutts and kicks to the face, and she wiggles ALL OVER the mattress in the night. Even with all of her rolling around, it has been fun to peek over in the middle of the night and see Maggie's sleeping face. I don't know how she'll adjust to the the confines of her crib, not to mention having to fall asleep on her own at home. I hope that the familiarity of Maggie's crib and room will make up for not having me and her mom put her to bed in such a one-on-one manner.

This family time is so good for the girls and for us. I am sure that both our babies have learned a lot, and had experiences that will benefit their little souls. I will be sad to leave for all of us. Not only will we have to make up for whatever our girls will miss not being here, I am also going to have a wife to tend through her mourning. We're not sure when our next visit to Canada will be, and Laura is always sad to leave. We at least know that Grandma and Grandpa will be visiting soon.

Black Lung

I've got to get my family out of Utah County.

The last week of school this semester, I could taste the air while walking to school. The car exhaust just seemed to hang in the air. I was so sure that the air quality would be rated poor, by the way my mouth and throat felt by the time I made it up the hill.

Oddly, the one site I checked gave Provo a green rating. But The Daily Herald reported a different story yesterday:

Utah Valley air ranked worst in U.S.

I hate to think what this air is doing to my kids' lungs.

Utah Valley's only growing, and the bowl that is Utah County is only going to hold all that car exhaust each winter. It's time to go.

Grumpy Rooster

Yesterday, my over 2 year-old niece and my under 2 year-old daughter found some of Grandma and Grandpa's books that they brought back from their mission in Africa. They were good picture books and children's stories. The book they snuck into the other room had a big color drawing of a rooster on the cover: Le coq qui ne voulait plus chanter. (If my French is any good: "The rooster who no longer wanted to crow".) This is a children's story by an Ivory Coast author, Fatou Keita.

My niece was excited when she saw that I was willing to read her the book and we could look at all of the pictures. Turning to the third page as I continued reading my niece stops me.

"I'm gonna get another book."

I know I didn't pronounce every word correctly, but I didn't think my French pronunciation was unbearable. Maybe I'll just finish the book on my own.

* And what better to illustrate a post about an African story in French, than a painting by Spanish artist. At least the title is Le Coq (Joan Miro, 1940).

We'll never get their names right

The Baby = Maggie
Chloe = The Baby
Chloe = Maggie

A Different Experience

While this visit to the hospital didn't exactly feel new… we're only 16 months removed from the last c-section… this visit was definitely different.

Unfortunately for Laura some of the differences were not so pleasant. For example, receiving the epidural was much less comfortable. Less comfortable isn't quite right. The epidural was beyond uncomfortable. Laur was quiet, but I saw a long chain of her mouthing "ow, ow, ow, ow" as the doctor jabbed a needle into her spine. And this epidural didn't block out as much of the feeling as the epidural for Maggie. Laura felt much more of the work done on her in her c-section. With Maggie, I had to tell Laur that people full-on yanked with their body weight on her stomach. This time, she was much more aware. This extra level of sensation wasn't so good for getting sewn back up.

Adding to the discomfort of the surgery, our new baby girl is a big one. Chloe was measured at 9lbs6oz and 21 inches, and there was some major pulling to drag her out. The doctor even took the salad spoons after her. I'm amazed at how durable a baby is; the way they are yanked out into the world. The doctors pulled pretty hard on Maggie's legs to drag her out, and they lifted Chloe by her head and neck and she's still in one piece.

I watched both c-sections, although the anesthesiologist this time started out trying to tell me to stand at the head of the operating table. I did eventually move down to the foot of the table to watch like I did for Maggie's birth. This time, I had the camera. We didn't even think about bringing the camera in last time. Last time I wasn't sure if I was going to watch the whole operation or not, or how much help Laura would want from me. I got a few pictures and a few video clips of Chloe's exit.

Laur's anesthesiologist didn't give her the running play by play like the last one did, but he did pull down the curtain so that she could watch Chloe's exit. Between that and the video, Laur has seen a lot more than last time.

I don’t think that there was as much fluid with Chloe, but there was still a lot. Chloe's exit was less stressful (from the point of view of the baby) than for Maggie. Maggie had her cord around her neck, and was zipped right out to the NICU doctors to make sure things were okay. Chloe came out and had plenty of time to start yelling in the OR. What a screamer. I didn't follow Chloe immediately out, so I had time to check up on Laur for a minute and to see the placenta get pulled out. The placenta was a huge, lumpy, uneven, red mass. Between our giant baby, the copious amounts of fluid and the mass of placenta, Laur is easily down 20 pounds. Yeesh.

Fortunately Laur's recovery seems to be easier this time. She seems less sluggish, and getting out of bed for the first time seemed earlier and easier.

Chloe, being big, gave the doctors a few concerns. There was a lot of fluid to expel from her lungs, in part because she was a c-section delivery, and she was breathing a little fast when we got to the nursery; nothing too serious, but just enough to make them watch. They tried an oxygen tent for 15 minutes but eventually we went up to the NICU for a CPAP. Again, nothing too serious, but they just wanted to get her lungs expanded fully so they wouldn't have to worry the whole day long.

Probably the worst difference with this delivery was the waiting. For me, it seemed like the c-section with Maggie was so quick after the arrival in the OR. This time, I felt like I had to keep getting out of the way to wait some more for the initial incision. Laura had much more waiting time than me. Chloe was born at 1:21pm, but by 2:30 or so we were in the NICU. The NICU was supposed to be a one to two hour visit. The CPAP was supposed to be on for an hour. I visited Laur in recovery for a few minutes at 3:30, but it was a while before I really got back to her. There were a ton of births at the hospital yesterday, including at least two sets of twins, so everything was delayed. I sat in a rocker with Chloe for close to an hour waiting for the nurse to come and do the final check out from the NICU. We left the NICU around 6:00pm, and had to go back to the well-baby nursery to get all the stuff done that they didn't do in our last visit. I got to wait there for the nurses too. Laur didn't get to hold Chloe until almost 7:00pm. Laur could have been happier.

Above all, Chloe is a different baby. She looks like our baby, but she's not Maggie's clone. Chloe might have a chin dimple, but if she does it will be like Laura's: mostly hidden, but there if you look for it. Chloe does have big cheeks and a tiny chin, but she has more of a double chin than Maggie did. Chloe has a small mouth, with thinner lips – AND she closes it. Chloe has hair; maybe not as much as Maggie did, and not as much of a curl on top, but some wave to it. Chloe's hands and fingers seem different, and Laur thinks that Chloe is going to have Grandma Phyllis's nose. Chloe's nose does seem pretty distinct.

It's hard not to compare a little here at the beginning, but I think I've always had in mind that our two girls were going to be different; different looking, and different experiences. It will be fun to see how Chloe's temperament will develop. I'm excited to see her personality. It's good to have our baby here. Chloe has had lots of cuddle time with her mama, as they've caught up on some rest after their hard work yesterday. Laur is happy for this baby to be here.

"I can't believe it's all over… there was a lot of baby in there." -- Laura Dee Betts, 1:31am Jul 28, 2009

Chloe Dee Betts

Chloe Dee Betts
9 lbs. 6 oz., 21 inches
1:21pm, July 27, 2009

Troubled child

Elementary school is a confusing place and an often terrible place to send children, and by terrible i mean something that instills terror. Kids at that age are burdened by the juxtaposition of the desire to reason things out for themselves and the lack of experience and judgement to not come to faulty conclusions. Then we put a bunch of them together all at once for eight hours, thank you very much.

From my own experience, i can remember walking up to a girl and basically saying, "you are chinese". She was probably of Asian decent, but she was quite adamant that she was in no way chinese. i was definitely confused. Why couldn't she tell that she was chinese? She looked just like "chinese". my friends had told me just what "chinese" looks like. For all i know, she could have been adopted, and as young as we were she probably had no idea about any other ancestry besides being from Utah.

The reason i've even been thinking about this is because of all the talk about my Maggie looking like me. i've heard it plenty of times already, and i hope that her looks won't be too heavy of a burden as she grows up. i look back at my pictures growing up and half the time i can only see my mouth weighed down by heavy cheeks and hanging open and my heavy eyelids giving me a perpetual drowsy look. i look like i've got downs syndrome. i'm telling you truth when i say that someone was serious when they told me that they wondered if i was a regular passenger on the short bus. (Then again, maybe that question was in their mind not based on my looks at all -- yeesh. It was my destiny to be an awkward child.)

Maggie does have some of her mother's traits. As i've said before, Maggie's dimpled chin comes from her mother. In addition to her chin it is obvious that Maggie's feet and her hands definitely belong to her mother. These exceptions are also a comfort because it's not just facial features that can supply a little childhood anxiety.

i remember being on the elementary school playground, sometime probably before third-grade, and having an older kid sitting in the swings give his assessment of who i was. i will admit that i could put on a pair of shorts and the bottom hem of those shorts seemed to easly reach down to eclipse the tops of my socks. i will also confess that i could put on grandpa's hat and the hat wouldn't fall down over my eyes, but i could not convice this kid on the swings that i was not lying when i said i was not a midget. Short little kid with a long body and a big head - to what other conclusion was that kid supposed to arrive?

good luck Maggie. i'm sorry.

---------

As long as were on the topic of poor logic, check out a couple of episodes of what might be my favorite radio program: This American Life.

Listen to the prologue (six minutes) on Kid Logic and the prologue and first Act (18 minutes) of A Little Bit of Knowledge. Each program is good as a whole, but not quite as light-hearted as the opening minutes.

Maggie is Home

Laura and little Maggie are doing well. Laura checked out of the hospital as early as she could and we were on our way home Friday afternoon.







here is a picture of Maggie sitting in her car seat wearing the outfit that Grandma Betts gave us for Maggie's trip home. Laura and i didn't realize how small Maggie is until we saw how oversize the newborn outfit is.





our first night with Maggie home went well. all three of us got some good, albeit interrupted, sleep. it's hard not to just let Maggie cuddle with you and fall asleep together.

Maggie's bilirubin levels were a little high when we left the hospital. today was a little cool outside, but the sun was out so we stripped Maggie down to her diaper and lay her in the sunlight on our bed. Maggie got a good hour of bright, warm sunlight shining on her little body.

we first put one of her socks over her face to shade her eyes, but in the end it seemed like her face was shaded enough to rest well in the sunlight.

watching her in the sun it was easy to see all of the little wispy hairs covering from her legs on up to where the wisps on her forehead fold into the hair on top of her head. the way she stretched and kicked in the sun was quite endearing.

look at the way she has spread those toes in the sun.

you can also see that Maggie was a breech baby with the way she holds her legs. she folds up into these little frog poses or this "little-Buddha" pose that we captured in the afternoon of her third day in the hospital.

Maggie's first visitors

With no immediate family closer than an hour away, and all of Laura's family in Canada, any visitor on the first day is an exceptional event. Grandma Betts left her after-work meeting early to make sure that she got her time in with little Maggie. Grandma was happy to hold her newest grandchild.

This picture of Maggie and Grandma is important because it shows you how much hair Laura had when she was... oh, let's say FIVE. Maggie has most of her cousins beat on the Evanson side when it comes to the hair that they were born with, but on the Betts side she might be on the low side of average.

Grandpa Betts knew his duties as soon as he came into the hospital room. He greeted everyone quickly and then got right to taking pictures of Grandma and Maggie together, and a few of Maggie and her parents.

Grandpa did get his turn with Maggie, but gave Maggie up early so Grandma could have one more cuddle from Maggie before her grandparents left. (Grandpa knows his place.)

Maggie's first visit went well. We know she's got plenty of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins eager to meet her.

just found out

this morning we found out that we've got a little girl on the way. laura's just short of the halfway mark on her pregnancy and the baby will probably be born at the end of the first week of april or into the second week.

the baby looks healthy and laura and i are excited for all that is to come. having the ultrasound done makes this whole baby thing a little more tangible, even more so than hearing the heart beat for the first time.

i'm sure laura will inform me tonight of the name she has picked out. i may wait a bit before i pass on that news.

Rex Lee Run with the Family

this was my fifth year running in the Rex Lee Run 5k. the run is sponsored by an on campus cancer research group, in honor of a former president of BYU who was president when i started college. this year, i got members of my family to run too. we don't really have a connection to cancer, but the Rex Lee Run has all kinds of runners of all ages and abilities. no one will look at you funny if you're not a record breaking runner. supporting a good cause is probably a big reason for the mix of runners. i always seem to run in to a few people who have since left Utah Valley, but make it back for the race.

The race results have been posted, but i'll try and make things easier for you all. i've collected a few of the stats for you, so you won't have to go and dig for all of the info. but i'm sure that at least some of you might like to check your age group just to see your name posted online.

Laura observed that the race day weather was the best she's seen for the rexleerun. one of the years Laura and i ran the race included a little bit of rain, a wet finish line and too much wind. this year, the race was on a great day; just cool enough to run and plenty of sun. with nine of us showing up for the race (Jonah is the ninth and should get SOME credit for his good behaviour on race day), six of the eight runners posted their BEST TIME EVER. (this is one of the great characteristics of your first official race - a guaranteed personal record.)

Jonah was the first to cross the finish line with Justin quickly in tow. Justin posted an excellent time of 34:30.72, which included time to feed Jonah some snacks on they way up the opening hill in the race. apparently the Ochre training program and long legs both combined for a great time. even if Justin hadn't had a stroller, 34:30 is a great time for a first time 5k.

next in line to cross the finish line were the Peterson's, Laura and i coming in just after the 40minute mark. the Peterson's definitely have plenty to be proud of. Rebecca and i were running well together for the whole race, only walking occasionally. "¿can we run to the light?... the next corner?" etc. was always followed by a response of "that's not far" from Rebecca. Laura made a great effort to catch up to Rebecca and i just before the mile 2 marker and we were all right together as we finished the last legs of the race.

the race ends with one lap on the outdoor track to the finish line. i looked back to see what i could do to spur Rebecca on to the finish and caught quite a sight. Katie and holly were catching up with Laura, Rebecca and i and by the look on their faces they were quite pleased with their extraordinary accomplishment. i wasn't expecting to see them so close behind, and i think that Holly and Katie knew they were about to pull off their own victories. Katie was smiling as she whipped around the corner and past everyone and across the finish line. i was sure that i could still see the smile on her face from the back of her head, as her little legs sped in a whir across the finish line. holly, Rebecca and i with Laura in step behind were soon to follow Katie's lead. apparently holly and Katie are quite the team to contend with. Katie definitely had a spark inside her for the whole race and she and holly kept making little deals with each other to the tune of "let's run past 5 more cones" or "run to the next corner" which combined for a great time for both.

not far behind at the 43min mark came mom and pop. adding to the great scores so far, mom came in at 43:14.41 AND in SECOND PLACE in her age group. the first place for the women 60 to 69 came in close to 39:30 and i think that mom has intentions to keep training to see if she can change that silver to gold next year. hopefully we can get at least as many people out for next year's race.

here are the official results.

Name	Time	Overall Place	Men/Women	Age Group
Justin	34:30.7	1168/1548	516/593	112th
Rebecca	40:08.5	1391/1548	830/954	13th
Dave	40:09.7	1392/1548	562/593	30th
Holly	40:09.8	1393/1548	831/954	35th
Katie	40:09.9	1394/1548	832/954	14th
Laura	40:16.4	1399/1548	837/954	36th
Joan	43:14.4	1453/1548	881/954	*!* 2nd *!*
Weldon	43:14.7	1454/1548	573/593	4th

if you're a little confused how rebecca and i beat katie and holly in our times, it's because of the electronic race timers. there's an electronic marker at the beginning of the race that registers the computer chip strapped to your ankle which is followed by corresponding markers at the end of the race. katie and holly crossed the finish line first, but they also crossed the starting line before rebecca and i, giving the difference of a few seconds added to their time.

you can go to http://rexleerun.byu.edu/ to look at the race results for yourself.