Leave the Starfish Alone

someone has to stand up and say something.

in the recent past the internet, rather than helping to disseminate knowledge, has been burdened with a lot of junk and people have passed that junk on to their friends. sure there were some dumb but relatively harmless pictures that came your way with titles like, "You Have to See This!!" or "You'll Never Believe it!!" but then there are the hoaxes that have the hopelessly naive people trying to get free trips to Disneyland from Bill Gates and sending their money straight into the wallets of some marginally clever Nigerian thieves.

prior to the advent of the internet, there were similarly viral stories that were able to creep into the vocabulary of seemingly sensible people. these are those stories that share some moral ideal, but through an unfortunately contrived tale. some of these stories are purported as true. other stories are told because they just seem "nice". there are probably even some true stories that have had some well intentioned embellishments or some editing due to forgetfulness.

listen up folks -- ENOUGH ALREADY!

passing these stories on isn't doing anyone a favour and this behaviour has been going on too long. Pope Gregory turned Mary Magdalene from a normal person into a whore with his good intentions in 591. it's time for the stories to stop.

• the olive tree is not the only tree in the world to grow counter to the natural way that all other trees grow, giving the tree it's venerable status in the Bible.
• a little girl was not saved from a car accident by a guy that looks like your culturally preferred picture of Jesus.
• your particular religious faith was not miraculously diverted from the World Trade Center on 9/11.
• the Pope does not have 666 inscribed on the inside of his hat,
• we're all still looking for the scripture where Jesus defines the difference between "easy" and "worth it", and finally...
• no one needs to save the starfish.

on behalf of the starfish, i would like to note that SEA STARS CAN WALK! their movement is unique in the animal kingdom, but they can still move and they move surprisingly fast. secondly, sea stars have sensory organs and enough brains to decide where they feel comfortable on their own. the fabled soul who was chucking starfish back into the sea would have at best made the sea stars uncomfortable, along with giving them a chance to take a long walk back "home". at worst, the idiot cast them out beyond where the sea star can find food and shelter or even get back to these necessities... killing them slowly. thanks a lot.

and one final word: that other metaphor is worn out too. (Jesus is tired of walking on the beach.)

Dreams: Rabbit-man XI (Oh I must confess, I was drawn... I was drawn to the ocean)

I've bludgeoned your sailors, I've spat out their keepsakes

Timing

last night i was talking with a friend about about timing and it reminded me of something.

i have a friend who has an extreme fear of sharks, even though she grew up in Idaho and hasn't seen much of the ocean. she's only stepped a into the surf a little ways and that was more than she wanted.

so there i was. i have a pile of cartoons about sharks and stuff. ¿why wouldn't i have a pile of cartoons about sharks? i picked out one that i thought needed to give to my friend. then i forgot to take the cartoon. so, i set out the little piece of paper where i'd see it so i'd remember in the morning and i forgot again. i probably forgot at least one more time after that. finally one night, i remembered that i had the cartoon and walked over to my friend's apartment and taped my selection to her door.

¿what's this i hear? ¿it was her birthday? i had no idea. and here i thought i was dropping things off on a random day. mmmmmm... timing.

(all together now: fists in the air...)