Troubled child

Elementary school is a confusing place and an often terrible place to send children, and by terrible i mean something that instills terror. Kids at that age are burdened by the juxtaposition of the desire to reason things out for themselves and the lack of experience and judgement to not come to faulty conclusions. Then we put a bunch of them together all at once for eight hours, thank you very much.

From my own experience, i can remember walking up to a girl and basically saying, "you are chinese". She was probably of Asian decent, but she was quite adamant that she was in no way chinese. i was definitely confused. Why couldn't she tell that she was chinese? She looked just like "chinese". my friends had told me just what "chinese" looks like. For all i know, she could have been adopted, and as young as we were she probably had no idea about any other ancestry besides being from Utah.

The reason i've even been thinking about this is because of all the talk about my Maggie looking like me. i've heard it plenty of times already, and i hope that her looks won't be too heavy of a burden as she grows up. i look back at my pictures growing up and half the time i can only see my mouth weighed down by heavy cheeks and hanging open and my heavy eyelids giving me a perpetual drowsy look. i look like i've got downs syndrome. i'm telling you truth when i say that someone was serious when they told me that they wondered if i was a regular passenger on the short bus. (Then again, maybe that question was in their mind not based on my looks at all -- yeesh. It was my destiny to be an awkward child.)

Maggie does have some of her mother's traits. As i've said before, Maggie's dimpled chin comes from her mother. In addition to her chin it is obvious that Maggie's feet and her hands definitely belong to her mother. These exceptions are also a comfort because it's not just facial features that can supply a little childhood anxiety.

i remember being on the elementary school playground, sometime probably before third-grade, and having an older kid sitting in the swings give his assessment of who i was. i will admit that i could put on a pair of shorts and the bottom hem of those shorts seemed to easly reach down to eclipse the tops of my socks. i will also confess that i could put on grandpa's hat and the hat wouldn't fall down over my eyes, but i could not convice this kid on the swings that i was not lying when i said i was not a midget. Short little kid with a long body and a big head - to what other conclusion was that kid supposed to arrive?

good luck Maggie. i'm sorry.

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As long as were on the topic of poor logic, check out a couple of episodes of what might be my favorite radio program: This American Life.

Listen to the prologue (six minutes) on Kid Logic and the prologue and first Act (18 minutes) of A Little Bit of Knowledge. Each program is good as a whole, but not quite as light-hearted as the opening minutes.

Maggie is Home

Laura and little Maggie are doing well. Laura checked out of the hospital as early as she could and we were on our way home Friday afternoon.







here is a picture of Maggie sitting in her car seat wearing the outfit that Grandma Betts gave us for Maggie's trip home. Laura and i didn't realize how small Maggie is until we saw how oversize the newborn outfit is.





our first night with Maggie home went well. all three of us got some good, albeit interrupted, sleep. it's hard not to just let Maggie cuddle with you and fall asleep together.

Maggie's bilirubin levels were a little high when we left the hospital. today was a little cool outside, but the sun was out so we stripped Maggie down to her diaper and lay her in the sunlight on our bed. Maggie got a good hour of bright, warm sunlight shining on her little body.

we first put one of her socks over her face to shade her eyes, but in the end it seemed like her face was shaded enough to rest well in the sunlight.

watching her in the sun it was easy to see all of the little wispy hairs covering from her legs on up to where the wisps on her forehead fold into the hair on top of her head. the way she stretched and kicked in the sun was quite endearing.

look at the way she has spread those toes in the sun.

you can also see that Maggie was a breech baby with the way she holds her legs. she folds up into these little frog poses or this "little-Buddha" pose that we captured in the afternoon of her third day in the hospital.

Laura Stuttered

Once Maggie was born, i went with the nurse out of the Operating Room to get Maggie weighed, measured and cleaned up. Laur didn't come. I guess the doctors wanted to sew her up first.

Once Maggie was relatively clean and wrapped up, i got to take her back into the OR so Laura could see her. Laura's head and shoulders were secluded behind the make-shift wall of a big blue sheet for the whole birthing event. Maggie and Laura needed a chance to meet each other face-to-face.

i walk over to Laura holding Maggie in for her to see. Laura with her first look at Maggie says, "She looks like yo- Bum chin?!?"

Maggie's dimpled chin is hard to miss and i think it's the cutest. Laur was just a little suprised to see such a prominant version of that trait. i like the dimple because it's an easy way to know that Maggie's her mother's daughter.

Blood and Guts

it finally came down to the appointed hour. Laura of course didn’t sleep much more than a few 15 minute bursts during the night. she stayed up late and was up before 4:00am. i was rolling out of bed shortly after 4:30am. here is a picture of Laura on our way out the door to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center.

our hospital check-in at 5:30am was quick and soon enough the nurse was taking Laura’s vitals and Laura was getting prepped for the birth. the wait wasn’t exactly short, but the hospital staff was busy enough that we didn’t have much time to get antsy. Laura said that 7:30am is the first hour that the hospital schedules an operating room, and Laura was rolling down the hallway shortly after 7:15am.

all of the doctors and nurses were ready to go. i was wearing my nice white paper suit, booties over my shoes, a super-sized elastic-bound cap that must have been made for someone with two heads, and a face mask. white must be the choice to indicate that i was the one useless person with no medical knowledge in the OR: don’t ask me for help.

i wasn’t sure how i’d be during Laura’s c-section. i don’t think i’m particularly squeamish, but i wasn’t sure if i could handle seeing that it was Laura who was getting cut open. i held her hand until the first incision started and then i moved to the foot of the table to watch the operation. i kept checking with myself to make sure i could get a head start back to the chair stationed at the head of the operating table before i passed out, but i watched right on up to Maggie’s complete exit.

the early cutting involved an electric scalpel that cauterized some of the veins on their way in. Laura only had an epidural so she was alert for the whole birth. i wondered if the smell of burning flesh bothered her at all, knowing that it was her that was burning.

there wasn’t much blood all the way down to the uterus. i couldn’t really distinguish much between the different layers they were cutting through until they got down to the uterus. the nurse standing next to me told me that it was the uterus, but it was easy to tell that there was a solid, rounded surface that had been uncovered.

most of the c-section was uneventful. i did wonder how much Laura could feel when each of the two doctors grabbed a corner of the incision with both hands and leaned back with their body weight. it turns out Laura had no idea what was going on. she didn’t even know when Dr. Savage had both hands with a straight-armed-press onto Laura’s stomach to help force Maggie’s head out in the end.

Laura really liked the anesthesiologist because he gave the play-by-play and kept Laura updated on each of the steps of the operation and Maggie’s progress out of the womb. Laura wasn’t completely secluded behind the blue curtain hung across her chest.

with the uterus laid bare, the real action started. once they cut into the uterus there was enough blood flowing that they finally had to use suction. THEN they broke Laura’s water. Laura gushed. with all of the recent ultrasounds, you could see plenty of space around Maggie. The doctors with the ultrasound were looking for that sign of sufficient amniotic fluid when they wanted to try and turn Maggie so she could be born naturally. there was plenty of amniotic fluid, the suction was working over time and Laura still spilt out onto the floor.

there was so much to see in the remainder of the c-section that it is hard to remember exactly how it all happened. Maggie’s right foot came out first, and all alone. Maggie’s skin was gray and messy with a hint of purple, but what can you expect for someone living in those conditions. her little leg didn’t seem substantial enough to hang on to. she seemed so soft and squishy. the doctors used her leg and hip to help maneuver her bum, and finally her other leg out into the air. this was followed by more tugging and pulling to get the torso and arms of this rubbery mass out of Laura. i could see all of our baby except for the head.

at this point the surgical doctor, Doctor Jones, said that the umbilical cord was around Maggie’s neck. i think that ever since Laura heard that my mom lost a baby to a tangle with the umbilical cord, Laura has been nervous that our baby would risk the same danger. i can’t really remember much, but i do know that i saw the umbilical cord pulled flat against Maggie’s tummy and tightly tucked into the womb. it was just a few quick steps and the cord was cut and i was exiting the OR with a nurse carrying Maggie in her arms. the ICU call button had been pressed on our way out and before Maggie was fully settled in to the bassinette an ICU doctor and nurse were standing on either side of our baby.

i was nervous for our baby, but added to that i was worried that Laura was freaking out back in the OR. fortunately Maggie started to cry as she was laid down and pink flowed quickly under her skin from her head and chest down to her feet. Laura’s other fear about the birth was that Maggie wouldn’t be breathing when she was born and that we wouldn’t hear her cry. Laura even had nightmares about this. Maggie was crying, but on the other side of the OR door, so i was sure that Laura was in a panic not hearing her baby announcing her self to the world.

i almost told one of the nurses to go back into the OR to tell Laura that Maggie was crying. Laura had been wondering if Maggie was okay because the OR was so quiet. Laura had no idea that we had left the room. the anesthesiologist told her to listen carefully and Laura tuned in to the faint sound of Maggie’s screams. i was enjoying the unobstructed performance at full volume.

Maggie’s birth was a little bit of a scare for a moment, but it was easy to tell that she was going to be alright. Doctor Savage said that with the umbilical cord the way it was, a natural birth would have been a disaster. Maggie knew what she was doing when she wouldn’t budge when they tried to turn her a week ago.

Thanks to Drs. Jones, Groesbeck (the anesthesiologist) and Savage (Laura and Maggie’s Family Doctor) and the nursing staff at UVRMC. To the right is a picture of Maggie with Dr. Savage after she cleared Laura and Maggie to check out of the hospital.

She's my girl

i sent out some pictures of our Maggie in the evening after she was born. for one of my friends, Maggie's picture apparently cleared up the question as to whether or not this new baby belonged to me. he's only joking when he makes those comments about the questionable paternity, and i know he jokes because he's not quite sure why Laura puts up with me.

Laura is sure that Maggie looks like me. other family members, even on Laura's side, have made similar comments here and there on the pictures i've posted. i'm not so sure if she looks like me. if she were similar to my baby pictures, i'd think she'd look a lot more Downs Syndrome-y.

i'm not sure who she looks like. she doesn't have attached earlobes like her mother, but she doesn't have four earlobes worth like me. it'll be a while before we find out if she's got more of my blue or her mother's hazel. her fingers and toes look like they'll be long and slender like her mother's. newborn baby-noses are almost all the same little button just above the mouth, but she's got a fair amount of lip which Laura claims to be from me.

probably the most salient characteristic Maggie has is her dimpled chin, which is a Tanner trait. Laura has a slight dimple in her chin, as does Laura's mother. Laura's Uncle Jim and her Aunt Linda have more promenant dimples than Laura or Grandma Phyllis.

as for how i feel about this baby, i think that she feels like my little girl. we've all been in the hospital for two days, so this separation from our home might not let the fact that our girl is ours settle all the way in. nevertheless, Laura is so happy to hold her and take care of her, and i can't help but cuddle this child again and again. i think we've got a fair understanding that she belongs to us.

In Mamma's Arms

Laura is very happy with her new baby (and i am too).­ Laura seems to be recovering quite well.­ some of the nurses seem impressed at how well Laura is doing.­ once she was unhooked from the IV and other junk, Laur was immediately out of bed on her own to stretch her legs and back.­

Laura's pain levels have been really low.­ she's only been uncomfortable a couple of times and she has been taking low doses of pain medication.

Maggie knows how to let EVERYONE know that she's not content, but it doesn't take long for her mom to calm her back down.­ it's fun to see Laura take care of our little girl.­

Maggie's first visitors

With no immediate family closer than an hour away, and all of Laura's family in Canada, any visitor on the first day is an exceptional event. Grandma Betts left her after-work meeting early to make sure that she got her time in with little Maggie. Grandma was happy to hold her newest grandchild.

This picture of Maggie and Grandma is important because it shows you how much hair Laura had when she was... oh, let's say FIVE. Maggie has most of her cousins beat on the Evanson side when it comes to the hair that they were born with, but on the Betts side she might be on the low side of average.

Grandpa Betts knew his duties as soon as he came into the hospital room. He greeted everyone quickly and then got right to taking pictures of Grandma and Maggie together, and a few of Maggie and her parents.

Grandpa did get his turn with Maggie, but gave Maggie up early so Grandma could have one more cuddle from Maggie before her grandparents left. (Grandpa knows his place.)

Maggie's first visit went well. We know she's got plenty of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins eager to meet her.

Happy Birthday Maggie!

Maggie Phyllis Betts
7 lbs 6 oz
19 in.
March 25, 2008; 8:00am
mom and baby appear to be doing just fine.

Maggie was born at 8:00am, via cesarean section. she wouldn't budge from her "heads-up" position even after an attempted turning the week before. she arrived one week early to the day. (i was hoping that she was going to be an April Fool's arrival, but i'm happy to have her here.)

i watched basically all of the delivery. laura had several ultrasounds over the last week and a half, so it was no suprise that all of Maggie's limbs were tucked up over her head. each one was a little struggle to pull out. she was out soon enough and crying well.

Happy Birthday Maggie!