things i should not do

recently, on two separate occasions, i asked the same question to two good friends. these are the kinds of friends that i've known long enough that i can ask an honest question and they've stopped worrying about softening the edges of their responses.

each time i asked the question the friend was the only one there to respond, so i'm going to assume that each reaction was true to that person's feelings. i know that the my sample population wasn't statistically significant from a textbook standpoint, but for as long as each person has known me, i would be silly to assume that there isn't some sort of meaning to gain from their responses.

i'd ask the question and the response each time was a small pause followed by laughter. not heavy, gut-busting laughter, but laughing stilll the same. ¿what does this mean?

here was my question: "¿can you imagine me as a waiter?"

both of them had reasons for laughing.

one friend was sure that i would take advantage of being in contact with so many people, and the number of practical jokes would escalate. my sense of what is funny does occasionally short-circuit my sense of what is appropriate, so humour at the expense of others is a legitimate concern. the other friend's accusations were a little more serious. these comments focused on this idea that i'm too much of a snob.

¿what?

i'm not a snob, i'm just used to being right. sometimes i do extend that assumption of my "right"-ness onto things such as music preference, ideas about pop culture and other tastes. i try to let people have room to like what they want (i wouldn't want anyone telling me what to like), but there is the occasional hint that i have placed some opinions into a caste that should be disowned and shunned altogether. i assume a certain amount of logic in the way that i have approached my opinions, and any thinking, reasonable person would agree with me. if you're already having a hard time with this opinion, pardon me while i stare at you like you're an idiot. ¿do i need to spell this out step by step? the potential for social disaster is immense and possibly inevitable.

the possibilities are astounding:

"you're going to order that?"

"honestly, who are you trying to impress?"

"being loud is not going to improve the quality of service. the kitchen is a long ways away, and the surrounding tables apparently don't find you as funny as you think you are."

"i told you that it had mushrooms in it in the first place, and now you want to send it back?!?"

"quit stalling and JUST ORDER A SALAD! salad is salad."

i'm afraid that even when i would manage to keep my mouth shut, the eye-rolling would all too easily express "¿who is this idiot?"

okay, so i'm exaggerating here, but the exaggeration illustrates my fears. ¿would i remember to be patient? ¿would i be understanding that not everyone understands things the same way? ¿could i handle having to talk to people even on the days when i don't want to? i've had positions where i've been involved in customer service and i think that i was amenable enough to the patrons, but what would happen when customer service was the whole of my job?

people have certain expectations when it comes to waiters and waitresses and even the rest of the restaurant industry. a waiter just doing their job is what is expected. ¿don't most people tip just the typical 15% because they think to themselves that the waiter/waitress didn't do anything extremely wrong? it's almost as if people are looking for the things gone wrong instead of what their server did right. ¿would i have the patience to be happy and polite even when the customer hasn't given me much room for a day that isn't quite spot on?

i've done plenty of grunt jobs in my time. there were jobs when they just needed a body, from light assembly to janitorial work to delivering papers, but i've avoided the food industry at all levels. i'm just not sure i could work in an industry so tied to the appetites and expectations of other people. even the people behind the counters at fast food joints are faced with a business founded on a customer base of "i want...".

i will admit to being an introvert and that i'm impressed by those who can provide a smiling face to each customer each work day. i'm impressed by anyone who can deal with so much trash from the general public, both literally and figuratively.

so, when i stop by the fast food restaurant to grab a quick bite to eat, or when i've gone in for a more formal dining experience, i remind myself that the greeter, the waitress, the busboy, and the poor schlep sweeping the floor are all doing something i don't want to do. everyone needs to eat and these people are doing honest work by stepping in for those of us who have chosen not to prepare this meal on our own.

i will try and be grateful for what they do regardless of their position, and i will remain impressed that they continue to do it so well.

and one final word: i do try to not be so opinionated and i do like people, but sometimes... i just like to be by myself.